Introduced in the 1980s, the feedback sandwich method consists of enveloping a difficult remark between two positive appreciations. This approach, widely used in management communication training courses, claims to encourage goodwill and buy-in. But in real-life teams, it often proves counter-productive.

At NUMA, we take a stand: the feedback sandwich is a false good idea. Because in trying to preserve the relationship at all costs, you end up making the message unreadable. That's why we advocate another path: one of clarity, sincerity and relational maturity.

A blurred message

On the face of it, the idea seems full of common sense: start with a compliment to lighten the mood, then formulate the criticism, then conclude with a positive remark to spare the person. The intention is laudable. But the result often leaves much to be desired.

By masking negative feedback between two flattering messages, we send contradictory signals, which obscure understanding and inhibit the ability to act. All too often, criticism is watered down, minimized or even ignored altogether.

Illustrative example:

"Well done for your responsiveness on the project. There was just one problematic point in the final deliverable, but overall it was very good."

In this case, the person's main message is: "That was good", and misses the heart of the message. Not only is the criticism less effective, it's also more likely to be repeated.

The perverse effects of an over-cautious approach

Far from being a guarantee of benevolence, sandwich feedback can lead to :

• A loss of managerial credibility: compliments seem instrumentalized, artificial, and end up losing all value.
• A blurring of communication: the message is drowned in vagueness. Employees no longer know what they need to remember, or how to make concrete progress.
• Latent mistrust: over time, some employees learn to anticipate criticism in disguise. As soon as a compliment arrives, they prepare for the slap in the face. This reflex sabotages the relationship of trust.

This can lead to a climate of emotional hyper-vigilance, where feedback - essential for learning - becomes a source of anxiety or avoidance.

Prefer clarity to clumsy diplomacy

At NUMA, we stand for a demanding, explicit and respectful feedback culture. Being clear does not mean being brutal. It's about taking full responsibility for the formative dimension of feedback, providing feedback that helps everyone to grow, without being infantilized or made to feel guilty.

We believe that good feedback :

• Is based on concrete, observable facts, never on interpretations or value judgments;
• A constructive and collaborative approach: helping others to progress in order to strengthen collective performance;
• This is always accompanied by a space for dialogue, to ensure that the exchange remains balanced and empowering.

Rather than resorting to relational gimmicks, we encourage a culture where feedback is :

• Frequent, to avoid the accumulation of unsaid things;
• Standardized, so that it becomes part of everyday management practice;
• Solution-oriented, so as not to get stuck on mistakes, but to pave the way for concrete adjustments.

This posture presupposes the cultivation of genuine psychological security, where everyone feels authorized to learn, to make mistakes and to evolve. This means working on the framework, on managerial postures, and on team rituals.

A structuring method : OSBD

To support this approach, NUMA uses the OSBD method, inspired by Non Violent Communication. It enables feedback to be structured clearly, responsibly and authentically, in four stages:

• Observation - describe an objectivizable fact, without interpretation: "At this morning's meeting, you interrupted Marie twice."
• Feeling - express what this generated in you: "I was surprised and a little uncomfortable."
• Need - formulate what's important: "I need everyone to be able to express themselves in a respectful climate."
• Ask - propose a concrete action, without demands: "Can you pay attention to this at future meetings?"

This method encourages non-defensive communication, where everyone can remain open to discussion, even when the message is difficult.

Find out more: Discover our article on the OSBD method

Saying things means taking care of the relationship

The feedback sandwich starts out with good intentions, but ends up betraying its objective: to help people grow. Watering down the truth impoverishes the exchange. By seeking to "spare" at all costs, we sometimes end up betraying trust.

At NUMA, we believe that benevolent transparency is a key managerial skill. Knowing how to say things clearly, calmly and respectfully contributes to a culture of responsibility and progress. It gives everyone the opportunity to adjust their actions, to better understand their impact, and to contribute more fully to the collective dynamic.

This is the posture we transmit in our "Giving and receiving feedback" workshop , through role-playing, concrete tools and in-depth work on relational postures. 

Discover the NUMA Feedback workshop.