Managing conflict and stress in the workplace is an essential skill for promoting a healthy and productive working environment. Knowing how to identify, understand and resolve tensions between colleagues is crucial to promoting employee well-being and ensuring harmonious collaboration. In this article, we explore different methods and tips for effectively managing conflict, with a particular focus on the Process Communication (PC) and Non Violent Communication (NVC) approaches.

Understanding individual needs

Process communication

Process Communication (PC) is a model of communication and personality understanding developed by American psychotherapist Dr. Taibi Kahler in the 1970s. Based on the theory of transactional analysis, PC provides a framework for understanding how individuals perceive the world, process information and interact with each other. At the heart of this model are six distinct personality types, each with its own characteristics, needs and preferred modes of communication. These six types are often represented as layers, symbolizing the idea that each individual has a complex, multifaceted personality structure. CP offers practical tools for improving interpersonal communication, resolving conflict and fostering cooperation by identifying and addressing the specific needs of each personality type. It is widely used in a variety of contexts, such as personal development, team management, therapy and communication training.

Example of a process comm' profile

The Process Communication empathic profile is a personality characterized by sensitivity, warmth and deep empathy towards others. This person perceives the world through the prism of emotions, being naturally attentive to the feelings of others and capable of creating a harmonious atmosphere in relationships with those around them. 

• Her typical phrases: they reflect this sensitivity, often expressing feelings like "I feel that" or "I have the feeling that", and she's quick to express a sincere apology or gratitude, often saying "I'm really sorry" or "that makes me too happy".
• Her needs: these are centered on the feeling of being accepted as she is, regardless of her performance. An empathic profile also values the feeling of belonging to a group and seeks a sensorially pleasant environment. When it comes to management, she prefers a benevolent style that fosters personal relationships and recognizes emotions, offering comfort and support when needed.
• Under stress: this person tends to lose his or her firmness and ability to make decisions, adapting to others and hesitating to express his or her own needs. They may also lose self-confidence, become self-critical and see themselves as victims of circumstance. Her expressions often reflect this uncertainty and doubt, such as "I can't do it" or "I'm not up to it". 

In short, this empathetic personality needs to be supported and reassured by his or her manager in times of stress to regain emotional balance and self-confidence.

Managing conflict 

1. Address them

When faced with unaddressed tension or conflict, it's essential to recognize that letting the situation deteriorate can lead to damaging consequences. It's best to confront the problem head-on and initiate intervention using a Non-Violent Communication (NVC) approach that promotes constructive conflict resolution.

The fundamental rule in conflict resolution is touse "I" rather than "YOU" or "IT". By focusing on your own feelings and experiences, you avoid blaming the other party and promote open, respectful communication. For example, instead of saying "You wanted to prevent me from expressing myself", we could say "You cut me off 3 times, I felt left out of the meeting, I left frustrated that I couldn't share my opinion."

It's important to use "TU" or "IL" only for factual, objective observations. For example, rather than saying "You don't pay attention to what you write", you can mention in a neutral way "There were 3 mistakes in your document". This makes for a calmer, more constructive discussion. 

It's crucial toaddress the conflict as soon as possible, because letting the situation deteriorate can have serious repercussions, such as a deterioration in collaboration, rumors or overwork. In short, avoiding confrontation does no good. However uncomfortable it may be, taking the first step towards conflict resolution is beneficial in the long term. By reflecting on professional relationships where collaboration is fluid, we can realize the positive impact of open, respectful communication.

It's also important to remember that all profiles can work together, even if they don't necessarily become best friends. By adopting an empathetic approach and focusing on problem-solving rather than blame, it's possible to overcome conflict and foster healthy, productive working relationships.

This ability to identify causes and manage emotions and conflicts is becoming an essential skill and an integral part of a team manager's role. You can access the best of NUMA's emotion and conflict management training by downloading our dedicated resource kit. 

2. Help

When it comes to helping manage emotions or conflicts, it's important toadopt a collaborative, empathetic approach. This involves asking open-ended questions such as "What's not working for you?" to enable each party to express themselves freely and share their concerns. Next, it's important to ask everyone "What would you need?" to understand the underlying needs behind the conflicts. Encouraging everyone to think about what they could do on their own to improve the situation fosters personal responsibility and commitment to conflict resolution. Finally, it's beneficial to encourage the parties to suggest alternative courses of action by asking "Do you have a suggestion on how to do this differently?" This encourages creativity and paves the way for collaborative solutions.

Another effective approach is toorganize a bilateral feedback session between the parties concerned at a "neutral" time. This session can be structured in three parts: "Continue", "Start" and "Stop". In the "Continue" part, participants identify what is working well between them and what would be beneficial to maintain. In the "Start" section, they discuss new ideas or changes to be introduced to improve collaboration. Finally, in the "Stop" section, they identify behaviors or actions that should be stopped to avoid future conflicts. This approach enables the parties to engage in constructive conversation and work together to solve problems proactively.

In conclusion, conflict management in the workplace is an essential element of leadership and team management. In fact, it's one of NUMA's best-selling courses. By understanding individual needs through tools such as Process Communication, and adopting conflict resolution approaches such as Non-Violent Communication, companies can create a healthy, caring work environment. By fostering open communication, mutual respect and collaboration, conflicts can be transformed into opportunities for growth and strengthened professional relationships.