Emotional intelligence is a key asset for managers and teams faced with complex situations and daily interactions. It is not limited to managing emotions, but has a direct impact on the quality of exchanges, decision-making and collective effectiveness.

In practical terms, how can we develop it? It involves simple but essential reflexes: better identifying your own emotions, understanding those of others, adjusting your communication according to the context and adopting appropriate reactions under pressure. Here are the levers you can use to strengthen this skill and improve your professional relationships over the long term.

Getting to know yourself better to manage your emotions more effectively

Our emotions influence our reactions and interactions, often unconsciously. They can help us make the right decisions, but they can also lead to inappropriate reactions if left unchecked. Learning to identify and understand them enables us to better manage stress, adapt our responses and improve the quality of our exchanges.

Identify your emotional triggers

Emotions do not arise at random: they are linked to past experiences and unmet needs. By identifying what triggers them, you can anticipate your reactions and manage them better in everyday life.

• Identify recurring situations: Stepping back from moments of stress, irritation or frustration helps to spot recurring patterns. For example, an employee who reacts badly to criticism may realize that this reflects an unfulfilled need for recognition.
• Decipher the origin of your emotions: A stressful meeting may reflect a fear of being judged, a lack of preparation or an underlying personal issue. Example: A manager annoyed by an employee's repeated lateness may realize that he is associating this behavior with a lack of respect, whereas the real cause is the employee's work overload.
• Anticipate to better manage your responses: Knowing your emotional triggers helps you to avoid knee-jerk reactions. Example: If you know that you tend to react badly to criticism, practice taking a deep breath and asking a question before responding impulsively.

Express emotions constructively

Poorly expressed emotions can lead to tension and misunderstanding. Learning to express them clearly and sympathetically can improve communication and strengthen relationships.

• Reformulate rather than react rashly: Criticism can sometimes be perceived in a biased way. Don't jump to conclusions, and check the meaning of a remark before interpreting it. To do this, don't hesitate to ask the question directly: "When you say that this project could be better managed, what exactly do you mean?"
• Use "I" rather than "You": This avoids putting the other person in a defensive position. Example: Saying "I felt left out of the decision-making process" is more effective than "You never take me into account".
• Take a step back before responding: Thinking for a few seconds can help you avoid overreaction. Example: Before replying to an irritating e-mail, draft a first version of your reply and reread it a few minutes later to check its tone.

Developing active listening and empathy

Active listening and empathy are key skills for establishing fluid exchanges and avoiding misunderstandings. They enable us to better understand the needs and feelings of our interlocutors, thus fostering more harmonious professional relationships. Effective communication relies not only on words, but also on sincere attention to the other person.

Adopting good listening practices

Quality listening requires sincere attention and clear communication. A few simple reflexes can improve exchanges and avoid misunderstandings.

• Maintain natural eye contact: Stay fully attentive to the other person, avoiding distractions. For example, putting down your phone and avoiding checking your notifications during an important discussion shows that you're really listening.
• Reformulate to clarify: Reformulating what the other person has said helps to avoid misunderstandings. For example: "If I understand correctly, are you feeling pressure on this project?" invites a more open exchange.
• Ask open-ended questions: Encourage dialogue and reflection. For example : "How do you see this project going forward?" rather than "Is everything clear?".

Staying calm in difficult situations

In a tense exchange, controlling your emotions helps to calm the situation and maintain a constructive dialogue. Observing, listening and reacting sympathetically can help defuse tension.

• Observe body language and tone of voice: Detect body language to adapt your response. A closed posture can indicate tension. For example: Before responding, taking these signals into account helps you adapt your approach.
• React calmly and sympathetically: Use patience and empathy to reduce tension. For example : A colleague irritated by a delay will appreciate a calm explanation more than a hasty justification.
• Avoid urgent requests at an inopportune moment: Avoid adding extra pressure to an employee who is already under stress. Example: If a colleague seems overwhelmed, suggest a discussion later rather than demanding an immediate response.

Managing tensions and conflicts

Conflicts are part and parcel of working life, but their impact largely depends on how they are dealt with. Rather than avoiding or enduring them, it's essential to adopt a calm, constructive approach. Knowing how to listen, step back and look for solutions not only defuses tension, but also improves relationships and collaboration.

Tackling a difficult conversation under the right conditions

A delicate discussion is more likely to be productive when it takes place at the right time and in the right setting. By taking a step back and structuring your message, you can avoid misunderstandings and promote a calm exchange.

• Choosing the right time and the right place: Discuss in a calm environment conducive to discussion. Example: Prefer a private discussion to a confrontation in a meeting.
• Let the emotion subside before responding: Reacting in the heat of the moment risks amplifying the conflict. Postponing the discussion allows you to step back. Example: Saying "I'd prefer to talk about this in private this afternoon" avoids getting carried away by emotion.
• Prepare the conversation to avoid misunderstandings: Structuring your message and clarifying your intention allows you to express your point of view without causing unnecessary tension. Example: Instead of saying "You never meet deadlines", specify "I've noticed that deadlines are difficult to meet, how can we improve this together?"

Expressing disagreement without generating tension

Expressing disagreement requires finesse to avoid defensive reactions. By adopting a factual and benevolent approach, you can share your point of view while preserving the quality of the relationship.

• Use "I" rather than "You": Saying "I" allows you to express your feelings without directly accusing the other person, thus avoiding a defensive reaction. Example: "I felt left out of this project" is better perceived than "You ignored me", which can provoke a confrontation.
• Avoiding judgments and accusations: Focusing on specific facts and sharing the impact they had on you helps avoid misunderstandings. For example: "When my role was not mentioned during the meeting, I felt that my contribution was not recognized" is much better received than "You never value my work".
• Adopt a calm tone and open body language: The way you express yourself is just as important as the words you use. Keeping your voice calm, adopting an open posture and maintaining friendly eye contact all contribute to a constructive climate of exchange. Conversely, crossing your arms or raising your voice could be interpreted as hostility, closing the dialogue.

Postpone discussion if necessary to avoid escalation

When a conversation becomes too emotionally charged, it's often best to postpone it to avoid unnecessary escalation. By taking a step back, you can clarify your thoughts, reduce tension and return to the subject more calmly.

• Recognize that now is not the right time: Insisting on settling a disagreement immediately can make things worse. It's better to postpone the conversation until everyone has calmed down. Example: "I can see that we're both a little tense. Let's have this discussion again tomorrow morning in the cold."
• Set a new time for discussion: Giving a precise framework for resuming the discussion prevents the problem from remaining unresolved and from continuing to generate stress. Example: "I suggest we talk about this again after our meeting tomorrow, so that we can find a solution more calmly."
• Adopt an open and reassuring attitude: Clearly expressing your intention to listen and understand the other person helps defuse tension. Example: "I really want to understand your point of view, and I think we'll be able to talk about it better after a bit of distance."

Step back to manage pressure better

Stress and pressure are part of everyday working life, but they mustn't get the better of our reactions. Responding too quickly or too emotionally can lead to misunderstandings or aggravate a situation. Allowing yourself time to reflect allows you to manage your emotions better, put things into perspective and adopt a more composed, constructive attitude.

Identify your emotions before reacting on the spot

Taking the time to recognize your emotions can help you avoid impulsive reactions. A brief moment of distance helps you to manage the situation more effectively and adopt a more appropriate response.

• Take a pause before responding: Before responding to a message or in a tense meeting, taking a deep breath and thinking about the best way to express yourself is beneficial. For example, instead of immediately replying to a terse message from your manager, taking five minutes to formulate a calm response can help avoid unnecessary escalation.
• Check the interpretation of a situation: A remark or behavior can easily be misinterpreted without clarification. For example, saying: "You seem to be in a hurry on this file, is there a particular issue I should be aware of?" helps avoid incorrect or anxiety-provoking assumptions.
• Allow yourself to defer a response: When a request causes stress or seems unfair, it's best to give yourself some time before responding definitively. For example: "I'll think about it and get back to you this afternoon" allows you to manage your emotions and respond more calmly.

Prioritize as a team to avoid overload

Managing an excessive workload alone can quickly lead to stress and loss of efficiency. Working collectively on the distribution of tasks helps to better organize priorities and avoid unnecessary overload.

• Clarify what's really urgent with your manager or team: When a new urgent request arrives, it's essential to make sure it really is a priority. For example, asking "What's the real priority today?" avoids getting distracted by non-essential tasks.
• Use a collective approach to spread the load: When a project becomes too heavy for just one person, organize a quick review with the team to adjust the distribution of tasks. Example: If one colleague is overwhelmed, perhaps another can take on some of his or her tasks to relieve the pressure.
• Set up alignment rituals: Scheduling regular meetings at the start of the week helps to anticipate unforeseen events and better structure priorities. Example: A Monday morning briefing where everyone shares their tasks for the week helps avoid last-minute emergencies.

Emotional intelligence is an essential skill for managing emotions, interacting calmly with colleagues and defusing tension at work. By developing the ability to listen, step back and manage conflict, we can foster calmer professional relationships and a more harmonious working environment. This skill is not acquired overnight, but through concrete practice and gradual learning.

To find out more, explore our workshops "Difficult Conversations and "Time and energy management" workshopstraining courses based on best practices for better communication and greater serenity at work.