1. Understand your own needs and those of others

Understanding your needs...

In the professional world, it's important to identify your own needs so you can interact better with others and be sufficiently productive. For example, you may need regular feedback on your achievements.

This not only keeps you in line with your team's expectations, but also enables you to constantly improve your performance.

On the other hand, you may feel the need to isolate yourself for a few hours a day to be truly productive. Talking to your colleagues and manager about these needs can go a long way towards creating a more harmonious working environment.

Understanding your needs also helps you to manage difficult situations more effectively. Taking a step back and remembering that others don't experience the same situations in the same way can be liberating. It's not "against you" if a colleague reacts differently to the same situation, it's simply a difference of perspective.

... and those of others

But understanding your own needs isn't enough. Understanding the needs of others is just as important to effective conflict management. This helps avoid misunderstandings and unnecessary conflicts between employees.

For example, some of your colleagues may need more structure in their work, while others prefer more flexibility. By recognizing these differences and adapting your approach accordingly, you can anticipate any tensions that may arise.

Take the case where one of your employees needs a well-defined framework to feel comfortable and productive. Providing this structure can prevent frustration and improve the working atmosphere. Conversely, another colleague may need the freedom to explore creative solutions. Respecting and supporting this mode of operation reduces the risk of conflict and promotes collaboration.

Understanding and respecting your employees' needs is a key skill in conflict management. This not only helps defuse tensions before they escalate, but also creates an environment where everyone feels understood and valued. This facilitates constructive exchanges and helps build working relationships based on trust and empathy.

2. Anticipating tensions

In a professional environment, it's essential to create conditions conducive to collaboration and mutual understanding. An excellent way of anticipating tensions and preventing conflicts is to set up structured, precise moments of exchange.

To do this, you can organize a structured tour de table with a precise framework. Here's how you can do it:

• Introduction: If necessary, start by introducing yourself. This helps break the ice and establish an initial connection with your colleagues or new colleagues.

• What you can contribute: Talk about your role, strengths and weaknesses. This exchange helps others understand how you can contribute to the project and where you might need support, reducing the risk of future disagreements.

• What you need to work: Explain how you work, what irritates you, and what you need to know to work well together. For example, if you need regular feedback to make sure you're on the right track, make that clear from the start. This helps avoid misunderstandings and potential conflicts by clarifying everyone's expectations and preferences.

This approach is particularly useful when a new employee arrives. We can identify different ways of working, and thus adapt and anticipate tensions.

For example, you might say, "As I said at the start of the project, I need regular feedback to make sure I'm on the right track." A transparent exchange like this helps you better understand each other's needs and expectations, which reduces the risk of disagreements.

This method promotes open and honest communication, as well as a culture of constructive feedback and mutual respect, essential for effective conflict management.

3. Addressing the problem

Using the "I

When tension or conflict arises, it's essential to address it quickly to prevent the situation from escalating. Using a Non-Violent Communication (NVC) approach can be a very effective way of opening up a constructive discussion. Here's how:

1. Use "I" rather than "YOU" or "HE": For example, say "I feel frustrated when..." rather than "You frustrate me when...". This reduces the other person's defensiveness and encourages a more open and honest discussion.
2. Talk about observable, factual things: For example, "I noticed the report wasn't completed on time" instead of "You never get your work done on time". This helps avoid subjective interpretations and accusations, by focusing on concrete facts that can be discussed objectively.
3. Talk about YOUR own feelings and needs: For example, "I need more communication to avoid misunderstandings". By expressing your own feelings and needs, you invite the other person to understand your point of view without feeling attacked, which facilitates a constructive discussion.

By using these techniques, you avoid misinterpretations that can aggravate conflicts. For example, saying "I feel overwhelmed when deadlines aren't met" clarifies your experience without blaming the other person, opening the door to a discussion on how to improve the situation. This approach emphasizes cooperation and the search for solutions, rather than confrontation.

NVC is a powerful tool for transforming conflicts into opportunities for growth and mutual understanding. By encouraging discussion based on facts and personal feelings, it enables disagreements to be resolved in a more empathetic and respectful way, reducing the risk of misunderstandings and misinterpretations.

Using the OSBD method

To structure your messages,you can use the OSBD method (Observation, Sentiment, Besoin, Demande). This approach helps you to clarify what you're saying, better express your emotions and find constructive solutions to differences. Here's how you can apply it:

1. Observation: Start with a factual, non-judgmental observation. For example: "I've noticed that meetings often start late." This neutral observation establishes a common starting point without directly accusing others, which can reduce initial tensions.
2. Feeling: Express your feelings to show the impact of the situation on you. For example, "This makes me stressed." By sharing your emotions, you adopt an open and honest posture, which can encourage others to understand your point of view and empathize.
3. Need: Clearly state your needs to resolve the situation. For example, "I need meetings to start on time to manage my schedule effectively." Identifying your needs helps clarify the causes of your frustration and avoid misunderstandings. It also helps focus the discussion on practical solutions rather than personal differences.
4. Request: Formulate a concrete request to meet your needs. For example, "Could we set up a reminder to make sure everyone is there on time?" By proposing a solution, you show your willingness to cooperate and improve the situation. This proactive approach can reduce frustration and foster a more harmonious working environment.

By using the OSBD method, you adopt a constructive posture that facilitates communication and conflict management. This approach helps transform differences into opportunities for growth and mutual understanding, by focusing on concrete causes and appropriate solutions.

4. Help with conflict resolution

As a manager or colleague, you can play the role of mediator to help resolve conflicts by asking open-ended questions that allow everyone to take a step back. For example:

• "What's wrong with you?"
• "What would you need to be more comfortable in this situation?"
• "Can you see what you could do on your own to improve things?"

These questions invite in-depth reflection and encourage constructive discussion, which is crucial to the effective mediation of a conflict between colleagues. As a mediator, your aim is to facilitate communication and help the parties express their feelings and needs clearly and respectfully.

Proposing a bilateral Continue Start and Stop session can also be very useful in this mediation context. This method consists in regularly discussing what is working well (Continue), what to start doing (Start) and what to stop doing (Stop). For example:

• Continue: "Let's keep having weekly meetings to stay aligned."
• Start: "It would be useful to start sharing our priorities at the beginning of each week."
• Stop: "Let's stop planning meetings at the last minute, it creates stress and misunderstandings."

This approach structures the discussion and ensures that all parties feel heard and understood. It also encourages a continuous and open exchange, which is essential to prevent potential conflicts and maintain a good working atmosphere.

Mediation is a key skill for any manager or colleague wishing to maintain a good team dynamic. By playing the role of facilitator, you can help defuse tensions, reduce misunderstandings and find compromises for everyone.

Managing conflict in the workplace requires understanding, anticipation and effective communication. By understanding one's own needs and those of others, anticipating tensions, addressing problems with a non-violent approach and helping to resolve conflicts, we can create a more harmonious and productive working environment.

To help you master these skills, NUMA offers a workshop entitled "Managing emotions and conflict". The workshop helps you identify and communicate your needs and those of your colleagues to avoid misunderstandings, and also helps you develop key skills to manage conflict effectively, fostering a working environment based on open communication and mutual respect.